Category Archives: 1. [ MIAMI BOY ]

Y.O.L.O ( I know you only live once, but this is the restaurant )

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MIAMI BOY.

Two days of email exchange and boom I get the message ” lets meet for a drink.”  Great, let’s do it. Now, we are going to keep in mind that this was my actual first Match.com date which happened in July, hot and sticky July. Do you know what it is like to get all done up and then walk outside and the hair straightening job you just did for 45 minutes has turned into frizz central in about 2.5 seconds?

From Boston, lives in Miami. We decided to meet at Y.O.L.O since it was half way in between Miami and Boca. I had asked if we were going to have dinner as well and the last text message he sent before we met he said “we will see where the night takes us” Whatever, dude. I had suggested Y.O.L.O because it is in my top 10 comfort zone restaurants. This is extremely important when going on a first date. You want to be on your turf. Remember that.

You must understand if you have gone on a blind date or have ever done online dating it is a little weird going to meet someone for the first time, but when isn’t that weird? So when you get to the bar or restaurant, you walk around very slowly, kind of like a cat looking for a sneaky mouse. Look a little to the left, look a little to the right, try to pretend you are that confident sassy queen you told yourself you were 10 minutes ago in the rear view mirror.

So, I pull up to Y.O.L.O in Ft. Lauderdale and luckily it is a small area and I didn’t have to do too much searching. There he was, sitting all the way at the end of the bar, a very attractive man, in a light blue polo..” Ok girl, you got this…” I go over to introduce myself and hop up onto the bar stool ( no really, I had to hop up ) and we start talking. We start off with good conversation about our hobbies, where we are from, what we went to school for, etc. A little strange since we were sitting next to each other and not across from each other like you would on a normal date, but I went with it. The side head cock was uncomfortable after 30 minutes and I had to cross my legs as lady like as I could without facing too much towards him. Too many rules to follow.

All I heard was blah blah blah, I’m new to match.com because I like to date girls who look like super models. Who in their right mind says that to someone? My reply was, “well you’re not going to find that here, I am no super model”. Duh Lindsay, did you have to point out that you are NOT a super model. I am sure my 5’1″ stature and big ass gave that one away real easy. I could have got up and walked away, but I’m not a quitter. We each had two drinks. That is rule # 1, two drink max..you don’t want to be THAT girl on a first date.

I must have passed some kind of test because he asked if I was hungry and ready for dinner. What kind of question is that anyway? Yes I am hungry…I am always hungry. I was ready to get up off that horrible bar stool and sit down, but no, we didn’t get a table. Instead, we still sat awkwardly at the bar next to each other, sweating, while I was secretly trying to suck everything in under that ridiculously small skirt that I knew I shouldn’t have worn in the first place.

We all know I was nervous about the date all day so I barely ate anything, so by this time I am STARVING. Opening the menu ” so what were you thinking of having? ” He goes “well I am really into eating healthy and organic food so I’m going to have a small salad”…..OH….OK. Sure that sounds great……..not.

After our meal, some laughs, and a few awkward silences, the date came to an end. He picked up the check and we walked out together.He was a little stuck up, but he kind of just looked like a guy that would be ( you know what I’m talking about, I know you do). He said he had a great time, paid for my valet and said he would give me a call. He drove away in his shiny white BMW SUV with black rims; again he kind of just looked stuck up.  All in all, the evening wasn’t TERRIBLE. 2 hours out of my life I was alive, safe and still hungry. Well take it . So, now since I have had some experience we can all read between the lines together.

ILL.CALL.YOU.WHEN.YOUR.A.TALL.BLONDE.SUPERMODEL.

WHICH.MEANS.NEVER