Category Archives: 5. [ GYM BOY ]

INSERT FOOT IN MOUTH

Standard

English

[Proverb]

don’t shit where you eat

  1. (idiomatic, vulgar) One should not cause trouble in a place, group, or situation in which one regularly finds oneself.
  2. Do not screw up or screw someone from where you work and or play
      It was a Wednesday evening, and I was just finishing up my workout at the gym. On my way out, I got stopped by two guys. One was very tall, who was holding what looked to be like a moped helmet, and the other was short and seemed extremely shy.

Here is the dialog:

Tall one: “Are you a trainer here”, (nice pick up line huh?)
Me: “No, I just workout here.”
Tall one: “Oh, because my friend here is looking to go out on a date with a pretty girl.”
Me: “And what are you? His match maker? “
I wasn’t really interested in the shy one. So I said to the tall one.
Me: “I’m Lindsay, what’s your name? “
Tall one: “I’m John”
Me: “Oh, do you drive a moped? “

John: “No, I just carry this around. “

We have a funny one on our hands here.

Me:”Well John, it seems like your friend can pick up a girl himself but what about you?”
John: “I have no problems picking up girls”
Me:”Well then why haven’t you asked me for my number?”

sometimes I get bursts of confidence  that shoot through my body. WHA-BAM!

John:”I don’t have a pen..”
Me:”You don’t have a pen? What century are you living in? How about that handy thing in your pocket called a cell phone?”

We exchanged phone numbers and had some witty convo the next day. Something along the lines about him being a pharmaceutical rep. and keeping drugs in the back of his moped.

We decided to meet at Tryst in Delray on Thursday night for drinks; one of my favorite bars. I now know NOT to meet someone at one of your favorite bars because there is a chance it is their favorite bar as well and you will see them there, a lot.

He wasn’t really my type, but in the dating world you should be open to whatever comes along because you never know who you might just fall for. Conversation was great. He was hilarious. I had some good come back’s myself so I was definitely keeping up in the funny department.

He was a real charmer, talked about how beautiful my eyes and my smile were, I could really get used to that. About 45 minutes into the date he told me that he was talking to his friend Ryan before he left to meet me. ( The shy guy standing with him at the gym )  He told him that he was going out with Jessica tonight.

I almost choked on the beer that I had just taken a sip of. JESSICA?!?

DIALOG AGAIN:

Me: “Who is Jessica?”
John:” Your Jessica”
Me: “I’m NOT Jessica!, my name is Lindsay…”
John: “No, your name is Jessica, I could have sworn that is what you said.”
                I am sure you know how this ended. I was O-V-E-R it. No way he was coming back from that one. We finished our beers and I walked to my car. I politely said thanks and went home. I received a text message from him that evening apologizing, and that he was so, so sorry. I never answered.

HE DIDNT KNOW MY NAME!

Over the past few months I have run into Gym Boy more times than all other dates I have gone on combined.

Next time I run into him I’m going to say,
Me: “Hey [INSERT WRONG NAME HERE]“