Category Archives: 6. [ CHIROPRACTOR BOY ]

CRACK IS WACK…UNLESS YOUR A CHIROPRACTOR

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CHIROPRACTOR BOY

Back to Jdate I go…

So, Chiro boy messaged me. A very short message, but his pictures were mostly what caught my attention. Cute little jew boy, my favorite. I had started to realize that Match and Jdate had a slight difference when it came to the “process”.

Match.com: There were a few emails back and forth telling each other a little bit about one another. Then comes deciding if you are interested in meeting that person. Then the phone number exchange to make the plans.

Jdate.com: Here is my number. Lets get together.

You know that on Jdate all their mothers or grandmothers made them sign up so they mean business.

I came up with the idea to meet at Benihana for dinner in Coral Springs. Which I thought was perfect, something TOTALLY new. I was prepared for smelling like oil and grease, no problem. Before I went to meet him I had to go get my nails done              ( DUH )

I have not mentioned this yet, but do you have any idea what it takes for a girl to get ready ?

Here are the steps you need to go through to get ready for a first date:

Step 1. Look drop dead gorgeous

Step 2. If you don’t know what you should look like on a first date refer back to step 1

After getting my nails done I drove straight to Benihana. Now we have the whole package complete.  Perfect outfit, hair, makeup, and nails.

You know what’s not perfect?  That RAIN that just started coming down!

I pulled into Benihana around 6:55PM, we were planning on meeting at 7PM. I thought to myself, “How am I going to manage getting out of the car with an umbrella, purse on one arm, nails still slightly wet, while completely risking the possibility of a perfect blow-out getting attacked by frizz-mania!?”

All of the sudden a car pulled up right next to mine, a bright yellow Corvette. The windows were too dark to see in but I saw an outline of a man with sunglasses on. Hey buddy, its gloomy and raining, lose the sunglasses. The man gets out of his car. HOLY MOLY BATMAN it’s him! Chiro boy just got out of the bright yellow Corvette.

I had to get it together quick so he didn’t think I was sitting in my car like a weirdo. I tried to open my door with the umbrella sticking out of the top, moving slowly trying not to mess up the nails, and keeping the hair from getting wet; The door swings open and hits the side mirror of his car!

DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?! PARTY FOUL BEFORE THE PARTY

He watched the entire thing, and then finally came to help me, or he was really just making sure I didn’t take out his side view mirror. No dings, no dents, all good.

Let the date begin.

We met on a Wednesday night, I know this because it was half off appetizers from 5PM-9-PM. I thought that we were going to have an awesome hibachi meal, but nope. Jew to the rescue – he wanted the half off apps.

We sat down at a table near the bar instead.  Conversation was smooth. No hiccups, no embarrassing moments, and no awkward silences. Want to know why? Because I couldn’t get a word in the conversation the entire time. Not even a peep

Jackpot – the Chiro doc with the sports car is a hot shot – NOT

I put on the “this is my interested face”,  but I wasn’t really,  I was just trying to order every single sushi appetizer on the menu and suck down my Mai Tai. By the way, did I mention yet how much I LOVE sushi? After a 2 hr date he asked me on a second date for that upcoming weekend. Now when you put all the pieces together of this date so far, he didn’t really do anything wrong; He knew my name, he seemed somewhat interested in me, he wasn’t talking about all his amazing ex-girlfriends, I did kind of hit his car and he still wanted to go out again, so let’s go for it.

Bring it on second date.

We talked over the next few days and planned on going out on Saturday night. I came up with a great idea to go to the comedy club at the Hard Rock! What I thought would be a good idea he came back with the text message reply “Wow your really emasculating me”. I didn’t think that coming up with the plans would be that big of a deal, but I guess it was. His mojo was a no no.

Back-pedaling , I said “Why don’t you choose the restaurant.” He said we will go to “My Big Fat Greek Restaurant” in Davie, OPA!

We met at the restaurant, and had a nice meal. I had a delicious steak Gyro and enjoyed every bite of it. Want to know why? because I DIDNT TALK!

Again, with the jibber jabber about the Chiro biz.

At this point I thought the second date would have gone differently, but he didn’t ask any personal questions about me. I mean, come on, at least ask me what my favorite color is.  He told me all about the newly designed business cards he was having made and what kind of stock paper he was having to choose from.

Where my cheerleaders at?

GIve me a B, give me a O, give me a R, give me a I, give me a N, give me a G! What’s that spell? GET ME OUT OF HERE!

I was just glad that on the next part of our date it was going to be dark with entertainment and he wouldn’t have the chance to talk my ear off. We drove to the Hard Rock and saw the late show. 10:30PM, real rebels.

Pretty sure the best part of the entire date was reading the drink menu at the Comedy Club. Instead of “Sex on the Beach”, they have “Sex on the Stage” HA. Oh, and the comedian was funny too.

That was the last we saw of Chiro boy…