Category Archives: 7. [ BORING BOY ]

My handshake brings all the boys to the yard

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BORING BOY

Now right off the bat you can probably imagine that there won’t be any funny or exciting stories here. But don’t go just yet.

Boring boy messaged me on Match.com, we emailed for a day or two and then he asked me to meet him at Lemongrass in Delray. (MORE SUSHI, YIPEEEEE!)

His pictures were A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. He looked like he just stepped out of a J.Crew magazine, fall collection.

We met on a week night. I got a parking spot right outside of the restaurant. That in itself makes the night great. You know you are excited when you get “THAT” parking spot, you think “best. day. ever”

I arrived a few minutes early, and went inside the restaurant to wait for him. I sat at the bar and was looking at my iphone mirror app; Making sure I dotted my I’s, crossed my T’s and wiped the lipstick off my teeth, okay were good. Then I did some texting to friends, searched through PINTEREST and thought about a facebook check-in, but I refrained.

Finally he came in the door of the restaurant and we immediately looked at each other. I can only imagine the first thing that comes to people’s minds when they meet for the first time. If we all had a “word bubble” over our heads we would probably be screwed. My thoughts were simple, “MmmmMmm, I like”

The restaurant was very busy. They were offering a “buy 1 LOBSTER MONSTER get the other free” coupon, and all of Boca Raton was going to make sure they took advantage of that! We were seated at one of those “one side is booth one side is a chair” tables. We had to do that awkward walk around dance deciding who should sit on what side. You know the one where someone goes left and the other person goes left to go around them and then you try to go right and they do too. What a mess.

Our table was in the middle of two other tables, one couple on each side of us. We stuck out like a sore thumb. Actually we just stuck out like two young kids on their first date.

Not only was I going to have to make sure that I kept up good conversation with the “boy”, but I needed to make sure Mr. and Mrs. Nosey on the left had something good to listen to and Mr. and Mrs. Gawking on the right had something to look at. I should have told them to take a picture, it lasts longer.

They probably just wanted to live vicariously through our date since they didn’t even speak to each other the entire time. Put the iphone down and nobody will get hurt…

Here we are AGAIN, sushi time.

At this point I have mastered eating sushi in front of boys. I knew exactly which rolls to choose. I knew that white rice gets stuck in your teeth a lot easier then brown, never order anything with more than three ingredients in it; and stay away from anything that has the words ” volcano” or “dragon” in it.

“I’ll have a spicy tuna roll, brown rice, seaweed on the outside, no sesame seeds please.” Now this may sound picky, but you are saving yourself a lot of embarrassment such as: food dropping out of your mouth, food getting stuck in your teeth, or simply looking like a chipmunk trying to eat that oh-so delicious hurricane bomb roll in just one bite.

Now the date went a little like this.

We both opened the menu, I said “how about we share, we can split 3 rolls”. He said “perfect”. I decided that I would pick one he would pick one then we would decide together on the last. Teamwork at its finest. This way I could make sure to sneak my spicy tuna in for my “safety” roll.

The food came faster than a speeding bullet, so we didn’t even have too much time to have conversation. He was the same age as me so we talked about some funny things we remembered as 80′s babies, where we went on our teen tour in high school and the sports we played growing up. We were out of there in about 45 minutes. Now what?

ICE CREAM!

We walked over to Kilwins. NOW, if you have never been to Kilwins you need to go. Like now. You can smell that place from a mile away, the hot press making the waffle cones. YUMMY! ( am I making you hungry yet ?)

I got my fav ice cream, Rocky Road. I especially like it from Kilwin’s because they have the perfect amount of nuts to marshmallow ratio. What can I say, I am a foodie.

We talked about going to see a movie the following week. I was totally for it. The date was coming to an end and I did have a nice time, it was just a little uninteresting.

READY FOR THE KICKER

We started walking back towards Lemongrass . I said thank you and he said he had a really nice time. I was waiting for the awkward hug moment, (already prepared, arms under Lindsay, arms under), but all of a sudden he put out his hand to give me a hand shake. WHAT?!

He immediately stopped himself and said “Wait, what am I doing?” I said, ” I am not exactly sure?” Then he goes “come here”…NOW comes that ridiculously awkward hug.

He texted me a few days later trying to set up a time to see a movie.

Needless to say, I was B.U.S.Y

BORING

UNINTERESTED

SHOOK MY HAND

YAWN.