Tag Archives: dinner

CRACK IS WACK…UNLESS YOUR A CHIROPRACTOR

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CHIROPRACTOR BOY

Back to Jdate I go…

So, Chiro boy messaged me. A very short message, but his pictures were mostly what caught my attention. Cute little jew boy, my favorite. I had started to realize that Match and Jdate had a slight difference when it came to the “process”.

Match.com: There were a few emails back and forth telling each other a little bit about one another. Then comes deciding if you are interested in meeting that person. Then the phone number exchange to make the plans.

Jdate.com: Here is my number. Lets get together.

You know that on Jdate all their mothers or grandmothers made them sign up so they mean business.

I came up with the idea to meet at Benihana for dinner in Coral Springs. Which I thought was perfect, something TOTALLY new. I was prepared for smelling like oil and grease, no problem. Before I went to meet him I had to go get my nails done              ( DUH )

I have not mentioned this yet, but do you have any idea what it takes for a girl to get ready ?

Here are the steps you need to go through to get ready for a first date:

Step 1. Look drop dead gorgeous

Step 2. If you don’t know what you should look like on a first date refer back to step 1

After getting my nails done I drove straight to Benihana. Now we have the whole package complete.  Perfect outfit, hair, makeup, and nails.

You know what’s not perfect?  That RAIN that just started coming down!

I pulled into Benihana around 6:55PM, we were planning on meeting at 7PM. I thought to myself, “How am I going to manage getting out of the car with an umbrella, purse on one arm, nails still slightly wet, while completely risking the possibility of a perfect blow-out getting attacked by frizz-mania!?”

All of the sudden a car pulled up right next to mine, a bright yellow Corvette. The windows were too dark to see in but I saw an outline of a man with sunglasses on. Hey buddy, its gloomy and raining, lose the sunglasses. The man gets out of his car. HOLY MOLY BATMAN it’s him! Chiro boy just got out of the bright yellow Corvette.

I had to get it together quick so he didn’t think I was sitting in my car like a weirdo. I tried to open my door with the umbrella sticking out of the top, moving slowly trying not to mess up the nails, and keeping the hair from getting wet; The door swings open and hits the side mirror of his car!

DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?! PARTY FOUL BEFORE THE PARTY

He watched the entire thing, and then finally came to help me, or he was really just making sure I didn’t take out his side view mirror. No dings, no dents, all good.

Let the date begin.

We met on a Wednesday night, I know this because it was half off appetizers from 5PM-9-PM. I thought that we were going to have an awesome hibachi meal, but nope. Jew to the rescue – he wanted the half off apps.

We sat down at a table near the bar instead.  Conversation was smooth. No hiccups, no embarrassing moments, and no awkward silences. Want to know why? Because I couldn’t get a word in the conversation the entire time. Not even a peep

Jackpot – the Chiro doc with the sports car is a hot shot – NOT

I put on the “this is my interested face”,  but I wasn’t really,  I was just trying to order every single sushi appetizer on the menu and suck down my Mai Tai. By the way, did I mention yet how much I LOVE sushi? After a 2 hr date he asked me on a second date for that upcoming weekend. Now when you put all the pieces together of this date so far, he didn’t really do anything wrong; He knew my name, he seemed somewhat interested in me, he wasn’t talking about all his amazing ex-girlfriends, I did kind of hit his car and he still wanted to go out again, so let’s go for it.

Bring it on second date.

We talked over the next few days and planned on going out on Saturday night. I came up with a great idea to go to the comedy club at the Hard Rock! What I thought would be a good idea he came back with the text message reply “Wow your really emasculating me”. I didn’t think that coming up with the plans would be that big of a deal, but I guess it was. His mojo was a no no.

Back-pedaling , I said “Why don’t you choose the restaurant.” He said we will go to “My Big Fat Greek Restaurant” in Davie, OPA!

We met at the restaurant, and had a nice meal. I had a delicious steak Gyro and enjoyed every bite of it. Want to know why? because I DIDNT TALK!

Again, with the jibber jabber about the Chiro biz.

At this point I thought the second date would have gone differently, but he didn’t ask any personal questions about me. I mean, come on, at least ask me what my favorite color is.  He told me all about the newly designed business cards he was having made and what kind of stock paper he was having to choose from.

Where my cheerleaders at?

GIve me a B, give me a O, give me a R, give me a I, give me a N, give me a G! What’s that spell? GET ME OUT OF HERE!

I was just glad that on the next part of our date it was going to be dark with entertainment and he wouldn’t have the chance to talk my ear off. We drove to the Hard Rock and saw the late show. 10:30PM, real rebels.

Pretty sure the best part of the entire date was reading the drink menu at the Comedy Club. Instead of “Sex on the Beach”, they have “Sex on the Stage” HA. Oh, and the comedian was funny too.

That was the last we saw of Chiro boy…
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Romeo and Juliet killed themselves for their love so I think you can answer my text message.

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BUSY BOY

Little did I know I was going to run into “busy boy” on Match.com. About two months prior to receiving an email from him I actually met him at my place of work when he came in to get his car fixed. Strikingly handsome, he pulled up into the service lane in an electric blue car; that obviously has to catch anyone’s attention! I’m talking about the car, not his extremely good-looking facial features.

I went right up to him and I said “WOW, how did you do that to your car?” He told me that he owned a company that can make cars different colors. Hello coolness! I was wearing a bright pink skirt that day and asked him, “Well can you make my car this color?” and pointed to my skirt. He said “Of course I can.”

Clearly I was kidding, I really wanted to just go on a date with him, we exchanged business cards and he went on his way. I was on Match.com for about a month now and all the sudden I open up my emails and there is a message from him! (To put the picture in your head I was freaking out right about now)

______________________________________________________________

Subject: Hey

“Hey, you’re the girl from the car dealership right?”

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Pretty sure I did my own version of an amazing end zone touchdown dance, or it may have just looked like I had ants in my pants, but yes, that was me! We emailed back and forth and he asked me to go to dinner that week! We met at Blue Fin sushi in Parkland on a Tuesday evening. AGAIN with the sushi dates, I wasn’t joking! He was on time, wore the simplest but sexiest black tee and jeans, had great eye contact, never stopped talking, and loved the idea of sharing food, pretty much couldn’t get enough of me! (Or so I thought).

One of the questions he asked on the date was about my profile. So he actually did read it. He said you have on your headliner a quote. “Maybe we can go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper; maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.”

He said to me “Is that just the quote from Old School, or is that something that you actually want to do?” Trying to contain myself without bursting out laughing, I knew the quote was perfect to catch someone’s attention; except not to busy boy. He was more concerned that the quote was me secretly saying that I want to have a family a house ,babies and do errands on the weekends, like now.

He told me that he is on Match.com since he never has time to meet anyone because he is so busy with his new company. I didn’t realize him saying he was “so busy” really was another way of saying I will never see you; ever.

We spoke a few times over the next few days. I came up with this bright idea and just had to tell him. I know that the guy is supposed to make the plans for the second date, but when is anyone following the rules these days? I found a cooking class in Ft. Lauderdale online and thought it would be the best second date ever. I sent him the link through text and he immediately responded.

He said he would love to go but he had to work Friday night and he wouldn’t be able to make it in time for the class. Instead of just shooting down the entire idea, he came back with an even better one. “How about we cook dinner together at my house?” Until now, I thought that was probably the most adorable thing ever. I have actually thought more about it and most likely what went through his head was “how about we cook dinner together at my house and then hopefully I will woo you with my cooking skills and get lucky.” (He was a good cook, but he didn’t get lucky.)

Now, let’s be real here, I am no top chef. I am the girl who can make a mean mac & cheese and I am spectacular at making reservations. I agreed to the cooking sesh at his house and he told me to meet him at his place and we would go to the grocery store together; Again, so adorable!

Friday night came and I was beyond excited. Didn’t get canceled on this time! I went over to his house and believe me, I can’t make this up. He opens the door, I walk inside and there is a guy sitting at his kitchen table taking apart a gun. Oh shit, I’m either about to get stolen or shot, either way those endings seemed bad. He introduced me to the guy sitting at the table, “This is my brother, and he is a cop.” PHEW! Dodged the bullet on that one; literally. The brother worked night shifts so he left shortly after I got there.

We had a great evening of cooking, relaxing on the couch and stayed up until 2 am just talking. (Promise there is not another word for talking, it was just talking) He came up with this plan that he wanted me to come over for breakfast the next morning because he had a lot of errands he wanted to get done that he never has time to do, and wanted me to go with him. So I told him I will make sure he gets everything done.

I went home that night and was back at his house at 9am sharp. We had some delicious eggs and we were off. No joke, we went straight to home depot first (just like in my headliner quote, too funny!) He had to get a fan for his room, a light switch, and some type of spray to remove wallpaper from his bedroom that was put up by the previous owner of the house (really, I can’t make this stuff up.) He did realize though that we were at home depot and it was pretty much like we were doing everything I said in my profile. Oops! Then he told me he really needed a new wallet so I took him to the flea market and he picked out what he said was the perfect one. I’m really winning this one over so far.

We went back to his house, ate lunch, went to the pool, walked his dogs and had a wonderful day. His brother woke up late in the afternoon and I told him everything that we did. He said that his brother has never done anything like that and he couldn’t believe I got him to do all those errands. His brother told him that their mom was having his family over for dinner in front of me. Now that I think more about it I am not sure if this was a pre-planned escape. I didn’t want to intrude so I said that’s fine you go have a great time I will go home. We hugged goodbye and he said he would call me.

He didn’t.

A few days went by and I sent him a text to see how he was, no response. About two weeks later I got a message that said he was really busy traveling for his company. We didn’t speak again.

But wait, there is more! As you know, the first place I met him was where I work. So who did I run into at 9am when walking into work about a month later? BUSY BOY. Can you say awkward? We said hi, and walked opposite ways. We have run into each other about 3 times in the past 4 months. The most recent run in was the best.

He actually came into my office  at work to ask me how I was. I was in a very interesting mood that day, and I unleashed the fury . I told him that he shouldn’t be on Match.com if he isn’t looking for something. No one is really “too busy” to send back a simple text message. People’s phones are attached to their hips, especially for guys who wear that silly clip. Everyone goes to the bathroom and brings their phones with them, I’m sure he even sleeps with his phone under his pillow; you can send me a quick message.

Maybe dreams do come true, but mine? Nope, they just get crushed…and usually by a large locomotive.

Takes 24hrs to report a missing person. Takes me 24hrs to get dumped.

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BASEBALL BOY

His profile caught my eye. A tall, good-looking, baseball player who just moved to Florida and was going to FAU to get his MBA. There was a short and simple paragraph under his ABOUT ME section, sounds good to me. Why not? Let’s go for it. I emailed him and told him a little bit about myself. By now I have caught onto the Match.com process. A few emails, the number exchange, then the meet up plans.

We decided to meet at the Living Room, in Boynton Beach. It was actually funny because a few weeks prior to talking to him, my sister and I were shopping at Marshall’s in Boynton Beach and I was looking for living room furniture for the new apartment that I had just moved into. While leaving the store I noticed the sign “Living Room” and I thought to myself, “how clever, a store all for living room furniture”

Nope, that’s not what it is. It is a small, new, trendy bar that has trivia night every Wednesday. SURPRISE!

The Living Room is a boho chic, warm, and inviting restaurant with a cozy setting. Even though this was not in my top 10 comfort zone restaurants, I was up for something new. The restaurant is divided up in to small “living rooms” with couches for seating. SO CUTE!

When I walked in I didn’t have any searching to do considering it is an extremely small restaurant and he would stand out in any crowd being 6’4″; good thing I was wearing my 4″ heels that night.

We sat down in a private section on a couch, I was just glad this time that I didn’t have to sit completely uncomfortable on this date. No sweating, and no neck cramps. So far, so good. We ordered drinks and then decided what we were going to eat.

He said that he did reviews online before coming and that the pear pizza was their signature dish. Perfect, I like a man who does a little research. We got spinach dip for the appetizer and we split the pear pizza. YUMMY.

We had easy conversation, not forced at all. We had a few things in common like golf, we both enjoyed going to sporting events and he had an older sister like I do. Nothing awkward, at least not yet. When we finished dinner the waitress dropped off a piece of paper with questions on it and a pencil on our living room end table. UM, WHAT?

Every Wednesday the Living Room hosts trivia night, oh joy! I figured this was the perfect opportunity for me to show my skills of senseless knowledge; and by skills I mean google.

The trivia went on for about an hour. It was kind of funny, we got to work as a team and some of the questions were ridiculous.

We got to question #7. “What kind of food is this?” Food? We don’t have any food, and magically what appeared on our table from the hostess were two brown balls that looked like poo. Yes, poo. We were supposed to taste this unidentifiable “thing” and write down what we thought it was.

All I could think was “HOLY HELL SOMEONE SAVE ME IM ABOUT TO PUT POO IN MY MOUTH.” So, on the count of three we both took a brown ball and popped it into our mouths. The brown poo was actually chocolate, thank goodness. Then I got to a creamy center, and then something crunchy. All edible.

How embarrassing would that have been if I wanted to spit it out, I for sure would have never got a call back after that one. We guessed that it was chocolate, peanut butter and a pepper. It was actually chocolate, mascarpone cheese and a hot green pepper, pretty close. Shocker, but we lost the game.

Before the night ended he asked me out on a second date on Saturday. SCORE, I made it to my first second date. We said goodnight with somewhat of an awkward hug goodbye. The 6’4″ to 5’4″ ( don’t forget the heels) ratio was strange to say the least.

We talked back and forth all day thursday through text message. He told me that he was making reservations at an italian restaurant in Delray. Again, feed me and I am a happy camper.

Friday came along and I was actually looking forward to seeing him. Being the good little Jew that I am I decided to go to temple on Friday night. Around 8PM I got a text message from him. ” Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you are a really great girl and I had such a nice time with you. I am not going to be able to go out with you tomorrow because I met someone else.”

HOLD THE PHONE PEOPLE. You met someone else within 24hrs and you are canceling our dinner date? You were non-stop text messaging me the past two days. Couldn’t even wrap my thoughts around this one. Didn’t chase, left it alone.

ONTO THE NEXT ONE.