Tag Archives: restaurant

My handshake brings all the boys to the yard

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BORING BOY

Now right off the bat you can probably imagine that there won’t be any funny or exciting stories here. But don’t go just yet.

Boring boy messaged me on Match.com, we emailed for a day or two and then he asked me to meet him at Lemongrass in Delray. (MORE SUSHI, YIPEEEEE!)

His pictures were A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. He looked like he just stepped out of a J.Crew magazine, fall collection.

We met on a week night. I got a parking spot right outside of the restaurant. That in itself makes the night great. You know you are excited when you get “THAT” parking spot, you think “best. day. ever”

I arrived a few minutes early, and went inside the restaurant to wait for him. I sat at the bar and was looking at my iphone mirror app; Making sure I dotted my I’s, crossed my T’s and wiped the lipstick off my teeth, okay were good. Then I did some texting to friends, searched through PINTEREST and thought about a facebook check-in, but I refrained.

Finally he came in the door of the restaurant and we immediately looked at each other. I can only imagine the first thing that comes to people’s minds when they meet for the first time. If we all had a “word bubble” over our heads we would probably be screwed. My thoughts were simple, “MmmmMmm, I like”

The restaurant was very busy. They were offering a “buy 1 LOBSTER MONSTER get the other free” coupon, and all of Boca Raton was going to make sure they took advantage of that! We were seated at one of those “one side is booth one side is a chair” tables. We had to do that awkward walk around dance deciding who should sit on what side. You know the one where someone goes left and the other person goes left to go around them and then you try to go right and they do too. What a mess.

Our table was in the middle of two other tables, one couple on each side of us. We stuck out like a sore thumb. Actually we just stuck out like two young kids on their first date.

Not only was I going to have to make sure that I kept up good conversation with the “boy”, but I needed to make sure Mr. and Mrs. Nosey on the left had something good to listen to and Mr. and Mrs. Gawking on the right had something to look at. I should have told them to take a picture, it lasts longer.

They probably just wanted to live vicariously through our date since they didn’t even speak to each other the entire time. Put the iphone down and nobody will get hurt…

Here we are AGAIN, sushi time.

At this point I have mastered eating sushi in front of boys. I knew exactly which rolls to choose. I knew that white rice gets stuck in your teeth a lot easier then brown, never order anything with more than three ingredients in it; and stay away from anything that has the words ” volcano” or “dragon” in it.

“I’ll have a spicy tuna roll, brown rice, seaweed on the outside, no sesame seeds please.” Now this may sound picky, but you are saving yourself a lot of embarrassment such as: food dropping out of your mouth, food getting stuck in your teeth, or simply looking like a chipmunk trying to eat that oh-so delicious hurricane bomb roll in just one bite.

Now the date went a little like this.

We both opened the menu, I said “how about we share, we can split 3 rolls”. He said “perfect”. I decided that I would pick one he would pick one then we would decide together on the last. Teamwork at its finest. This way I could make sure to sneak my spicy tuna in for my “safety” roll.

The food came faster than a speeding bullet, so we didn’t even have too much time to have conversation. He was the same age as me so we talked about some funny things we remembered as 80’s babies, where we went on our teen tour in high school and the sports we played growing up. We were out of there in about 45 minutes. Now what?

ICE CREAM!

We walked over to Kilwins. NOW, if you have never been to Kilwins you need to go. Like now. You can smell that place from a mile away, the hot press making the waffle cones. YUMMY! ( am I making you hungry yet ?)

I got my fav ice cream, Rocky Road. I especially like it from Kilwin’s because they have the perfect amount of nuts to marshmallow ratio. What can I say, I am a foodie.

We talked about going to see a movie the following week. I was totally for it. The date was coming to an end and I did have a nice time, it was just a little uninteresting.

READY FOR THE KICKER

We started walking back towards Lemongrass . I said thank you and he said he had a really nice time. I was waiting for the awkward hug moment, (already prepared, arms under Lindsay, arms under), but all of a sudden he put out his hand to give me a hand shake. WHAT?!

He immediately stopped himself and said “Wait, what am I doing?” I said, ” I am not exactly sure?” Then he goes “come here”…NOW comes that ridiculously awkward hug.

He texted me a few days later trying to set up a time to see a movie.

Needless to say, I was B.U.S.Y

BORING

UNINTERESTED

SHOOK MY HAND

YAWN.

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CRACK IS WACK…UNLESS YOUR A CHIROPRACTOR

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CHIROPRACTOR BOY

Back to Jdate I go…

So, Chiro boy messaged me. A very short message, but his pictures were mostly what caught my attention. Cute little jew boy, my favorite. I had started to realize that Match and Jdate had a slight difference when it came to the “process”.

Match.com: There were a few emails back and forth telling each other a little bit about one another. Then comes deciding if you are interested in meeting that person. Then the phone number exchange to make the plans.

Jdate.com: Here is my number. Lets get together.

You know that on Jdate all their mothers or grandmothers made them sign up so they mean business.

I came up with the idea to meet at Benihana for dinner in Coral Springs. Which I thought was perfect, something TOTALLY new. I was prepared for smelling like oil and grease, no problem. Before I went to meet him I had to go get my nails done              ( DUH )

I have not mentioned this yet, but do you have any idea what it takes for a girl to get ready ?

Here are the steps you need to go through to get ready for a first date:

Step 1. Look drop dead gorgeous

Step 2. If you don’t know what you should look like on a first date refer back to step 1

After getting my nails done I drove straight to Benihana. Now we have the whole package complete.  Perfect outfit, hair, makeup, and nails.

You know what’s not perfect?  That RAIN that just started coming down!

I pulled into Benihana around 6:55PM, we were planning on meeting at 7PM. I thought to myself, “How am I going to manage getting out of the car with an umbrella, purse on one arm, nails still slightly wet, while completely risking the possibility of a perfect blow-out getting attacked by frizz-mania!?”

All of the sudden a car pulled up right next to mine, a bright yellow Corvette. The windows were too dark to see in but I saw an outline of a man with sunglasses on. Hey buddy, its gloomy and raining, lose the sunglasses. The man gets out of his car. HOLY MOLY BATMAN it’s him! Chiro boy just got out of the bright yellow Corvette.

I had to get it together quick so he didn’t think I was sitting in my car like a weirdo. I tried to open my door with the umbrella sticking out of the top, moving slowly trying not to mess up the nails, and keeping the hair from getting wet; The door swings open and hits the side mirror of his car!

DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?! PARTY FOUL BEFORE THE PARTY

He watched the entire thing, and then finally came to help me, or he was really just making sure I didn’t take out his side view mirror. No dings, no dents, all good.

Let the date begin.

We met on a Wednesday night, I know this because it was half off appetizers from 5PM-9-PM. I thought that we were going to have an awesome hibachi meal, but nope. Jew to the rescue – he wanted the half off apps.

We sat down at a table near the bar instead.  Conversation was smooth. No hiccups, no embarrassing moments, and no awkward silences. Want to know why? Because I couldn’t get a word in the conversation the entire time. Not even a peep

Jackpot – the Chiro doc with the sports car is a hot shot – NOT

I put on the “this is my interested face”,  but I wasn’t really,  I was just trying to order every single sushi appetizer on the menu and suck down my Mai Tai. By the way, did I mention yet how much I LOVE sushi? After a 2 hr date he asked me on a second date for that upcoming weekend. Now when you put all the pieces together of this date so far, he didn’t really do anything wrong; He knew my name, he seemed somewhat interested in me, he wasn’t talking about all his amazing ex-girlfriends, I did kind of hit his car and he still wanted to go out again, so let’s go for it.

Bring it on second date.

We talked over the next few days and planned on going out on Saturday night. I came up with a great idea to go to the comedy club at the Hard Rock! What I thought would be a good idea he came back with the text message reply “Wow your really emasculating me”. I didn’t think that coming up with the plans would be that big of a deal, but I guess it was. His mojo was a no no.

Back-pedaling , I said “Why don’t you choose the restaurant.” He said we will go to “My Big Fat Greek Restaurant” in Davie, OPA!

We met at the restaurant, and had a nice meal. I had a delicious steak Gyro and enjoyed every bite of it. Want to know why? because I DIDNT TALK!

Again, with the jibber jabber about the Chiro biz.

At this point I thought the second date would have gone differently, but he didn’t ask any personal questions about me. I mean, come on, at least ask me what my favorite color is.  He told me all about the newly designed business cards he was having made and what kind of stock paper he was having to choose from.

Where my cheerleaders at?

GIve me a B, give me a O, give me a R, give me a I, give me a N, give me a G! What’s that spell? GET ME OUT OF HERE!

I was just glad that on the next part of our date it was going to be dark with entertainment and he wouldn’t have the chance to talk my ear off. We drove to the Hard Rock and saw the late show. 10:30PM, real rebels.

Pretty sure the best part of the entire date was reading the drink menu at the Comedy Club. Instead of “Sex on the Beach”, they have “Sex on the Stage” HA. Oh, and the comedian was funny too.

That was the last we saw of Chiro boy…

Takes 24hrs to report a missing person. Takes me 24hrs to get dumped.

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BASEBALL BOY

His profile caught my eye. A tall, good-looking, baseball player who just moved to Florida and was going to FAU to get his MBA. There was a short and simple paragraph under his ABOUT ME section, sounds good to me. Why not? Let’s go for it. I emailed him and told him a little bit about myself. By now I have caught onto the Match.com process. A few emails, the number exchange, then the meet up plans.

We decided to meet at the Living Room, in Boynton Beach. It was actually funny because a few weeks prior to talking to him, my sister and I were shopping at Marshall’s in Boynton Beach and I was looking for living room furniture for the new apartment that I had just moved into. While leaving the store I noticed the sign “Living Room” and I thought to myself, “how clever, a store all for living room furniture”

Nope, that’s not what it is. It is a small, new, trendy bar that has trivia night every Wednesday. SURPRISE!

The Living Room is a boho chic, warm, and inviting restaurant with a cozy setting. Even though this was not in my top 10 comfort zone restaurants, I was up for something new. The restaurant is divided up in to small “living rooms” with couches for seating. SO CUTE!

When I walked in I didn’t have any searching to do considering it is an extremely small restaurant and he would stand out in any crowd being 6’4″; good thing I was wearing my 4″ heels that night.

We sat down in a private section on a couch, I was just glad this time that I didn’t have to sit completely uncomfortable on this date. No sweating, and no neck cramps. So far, so good. We ordered drinks and then decided what we were going to eat.

He said that he did reviews online before coming and that the pear pizza was their signature dish. Perfect, I like a man who does a little research. We got spinach dip for the appetizer and we split the pear pizza. YUMMY.

We had easy conversation, not forced at all. We had a few things in common like golf, we both enjoyed going to sporting events and he had an older sister like I do. Nothing awkward, at least not yet. When we finished dinner the waitress dropped off a piece of paper with questions on it and a pencil on our living room end table. UM, WHAT?

Every Wednesday the Living Room hosts trivia night, oh joy! I figured this was the perfect opportunity for me to show my skills of senseless knowledge; and by skills I mean google.

The trivia went on for about an hour. It was kind of funny, we got to work as a team and some of the questions were ridiculous.

We got to question #7. “What kind of food is this?” Food? We don’t have any food, and magically what appeared on our table from the hostess were two brown balls that looked like poo. Yes, poo. We were supposed to taste this unidentifiable “thing” and write down what we thought it was.

All I could think was “HOLY HELL SOMEONE SAVE ME IM ABOUT TO PUT POO IN MY MOUTH.” So, on the count of three we both took a brown ball and popped it into our mouths. The brown poo was actually chocolate, thank goodness. Then I got to a creamy center, and then something crunchy. All edible.

How embarrassing would that have been if I wanted to spit it out, I for sure would have never got a call back after that one. We guessed that it was chocolate, peanut butter and a pepper. It was actually chocolate, mascarpone cheese and a hot green pepper, pretty close. Shocker, but we lost the game.

Before the night ended he asked me out on a second date on Saturday. SCORE, I made it to my first second date. We said goodnight with somewhat of an awkward hug goodbye. The 6’4″ to 5’4″ ( don’t forget the heels) ratio was strange to say the least.

We talked back and forth all day thursday through text message. He told me that he was making reservations at an italian restaurant in Delray. Again, feed me and I am a happy camper.

Friday came along and I was actually looking forward to seeing him. Being the good little Jew that I am I decided to go to temple on Friday night. Around 8PM I got a text message from him. ” Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you are a really great girl and I had such a nice time with you. I am not going to be able to go out with you tomorrow because I met someone else.”

HOLD THE PHONE PEOPLE. You met someone else within 24hrs and you are canceling our dinner date? You were non-stop text messaging me the past two days. Couldn’t even wrap my thoughts around this one. Didn’t chase, left it alone.

ONTO THE NEXT ONE.